I woke last Sunday morning with an old hymn running through my head. However, I only remembered the words in Arabic, the worship language of my childhood. I couldn’t identify the hymn in English, so I had to be patient until church to talk to my musical friend and hum the tune for him. He immediately sang the words back to me in English.

Nevertheless, to my great consternation and dissapointment, the English words did not match the Arabic words, not even a little bit! In Arabic, the second half of the hymn, “Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silent,” personifies my anguished cry. The words in Arabic are,” Ya Ilahee smay, sooraghee, wasmay ya rabi illay.”  They literally translate to English as, “O God, listen to my screams, you O my Lord always listen to me!”

I then asked a childhood friend the translation of this chorus. He said that the intended meaning, not the literal meaning of these phrases is, “O my God, listen to me crying out to you. Hear me intently.”

I did some research  and read that this hymn is based on the chanted Lord’s Supper Liturgy of St. James the Less, first bishop of Jerusalem. It is presently used in the Syrian Orthodox Church and said to be the most ancient of Christian liturgies!

What caused this hymn, this prayer, to possess me, to grip me so?

I had gone to sleep haunted by the Palestinian refugee children’s faces fleeing yet again the bombs destroying their homes. All they know for sure is to cling to a younger sibling’s grubby hand while grasping their mother’s dusty hemmed “thobe” (long dress) with their other fist. Their fearful, wide-eyed gazes beseech the camera-toting journalist for understanding.

So, yes, I woke up “screaming” my prayers. Then in worship last Sunday morning, the children presented their angelic Christmas program. . . . .

I can’t stand the juxtaposition of the two polar opposite affects: one “screaming” fearful bewilderment and the other singing joyful songs.

Can we collectively “scream” our prayers of desperation?