How many of us have learned to look inwardly with courage? I have recently been challenged to do just that, not in a didactic confrontational way, but within the confines of a painful conversation. Painful conversations are inevitable with people about whom we care the most. If we didn’t care so much, we wouldn’t bother to ache!

So how do we delve into such a challenge?

For me, it’s a matter of getting alone with God, vulnerably and willingly allowing Him to show me the deep, hidden areas of my character, those places where I’m irritably uncomfortable and resist excavation. I see how I so easily slip into victimhood where I’ve been wronged by another’s betrayal, lies, and accusations. What would happen if I flipped it around and recognized how I’m betraying the other person by my own self-righteous pride in which my beloved perfectionistic attitude condems and judges him/her?

Whenever there is an iota of prideful conceit still reigning in our souls, we are unteachable, and most devastingly, unable to empathize. Be courageous and examine those deep dark corners. Do the hard work of excavating pride.

We think we understand another’s struggle until we recognize the same shortcomings in ourselves. This self-reflection is arduous work, but essential in mending cracking relationships.

Are you up to the challenge of excavating your own depths?

For the word of God is alive and active. It cuts more keenly than any two-edged sword, piercing as far as the place where life and spirit, joints and marrow, divide. It sifts the purposes and thoughts of the heart. There is nothing in creation that can hide from Him; everything lies naked and exposed to the eyes of the One with whom we have to reckon.

Hebrews 4:12-13

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