Don’t you just love that pocket of time before waking up but still remembering a sweeet dream? I stay in bed a few minutes longer, hugged by fond memories pictured in my dreams. In dreams, all my senses are amplified, turned up like a dial on a stove, stereo, or thermostat.
As I lay there swimming in the joy of my sweet dream, I suddenly become alarmed by a sharp arrow of realization; no wonder PTSD victims have a love hate relationship with sleep! They want to close their eyes and fall into the oblivion of sleep, to rest from painful, traumatic flashbacks. Yet in sleep, these same dreaded flashbacks are re-experienced with the volume turned up in all its intensified gritty messiness.
In the Psalms, David puts into words the sweetness of his dreams and the desperate angst of his nightmares. Yet, in all his poetic words, in all his experiences, his relationship with the divine is a constant.
I don’t meen to trivialize the dreams of PTSD sufferers at all. I can’t begin to empathize with their torturous dreams. I do know that for me, the effects of my nightmares are softened by my constant relationship with the divine in my soul. How can this relationship be explained?
The very word relationship denotes connection. In order to be connected, one has to understand and appreciate the other, taking in the unfathomable and voluntarily becoming tethered as one. This mutual bonding is what intimacy is all about! It is the privelege we have in relationship with the divine. I am known completely!
Whether in the sweet dreams or horrific nightmares of life, God is constant. I can rest in that. You can rest in that.
How is the divine connectedness amplified in your life?
O Lord, you examine me and know me. You know when I sit down and when I get up; even from far away you understand my motives. You carefully observe me when I travel or when I lie down to rest; you are aware of everything I do. Certainly, my tongue does not frame a word without you, O Lord, being thoroughly aware of it. You squeeze me in from behind and in front; you place your hand on me. Your knowledge is beyond my comprehension; it is so far beyond me, I am unable to fathom it.